Developing Your Self-Confidence
May 13, 2008
Developing Your Self-Confidence
By Gene Swindell
The Voice of Change™
Perhaps some people back away from developing a strong trait of self-confidence because they have experienced so many pretenders … people who attempt to wear the air of self confidence. They’ve seen those people who brag about their accomplishments, their skills, their position, their status.
They are turned off by the pretenders who are always exaggerating about their great deeds and usually become very assertive and boisterous when things don’t go their way. After a few experiences with pretenders and their oversized egos, some people say, “If that’s self-confidence, I want no part of it.” The typical pretender is one who uses those fake characteristics to cover up a tremendous lack of self-confidence.
Effective leaders let others talk about their abilities and accomplishments while concentrating on goals and offering praise, admiration and appreciation to others. There are two people inside each of us. There’s the giant who seeks recognition and greatness. And there’s the midget who somehow gets in the way.
Self-doubt and fear of failure are the two great barriers thrown at us by that midget inside. The giant within wants to rise up but is beaten down by the negatives that chip away, if we allow them, until we become shy, timid and afraid.
The late Antarctic explorer Norman Vaughn was the epitome of one who lived life to the fullest. He believed in himself through wisdom and knowledge, a positive attitude, overflowing enthusiasm, integrity and action. On my office bulletin board, I have posted one of his quotations:
“The only death you die is the death you die every day by not living.
Dream big and dare to fail.”
To build your self-confidence:
1. Know your real limitations. People have overcome tremendous physical and mental disadvantages to achieve incredible goals. Sometimes there are limitations of time, money, family, and immovable obligations that prevent us from reaching our ultimate success. While we explore creative and innovative ways to get what we want, we must still live in the world of reality. But, at the same time, we must always look at possibilities to extend or eliminate those limitations.
2. Concentrate on your strengths. Use the rifle vs. shotgun approach. Top leaders know what they can do best. They master the art of focusing their energy on what is most worthy. Rather than being a “jack of all things,” they choose to become “master of their strengths.” As they zero in and improve their strengths, their self-confidence grows.
3. Believe in yourself. Most of us have more self-confidence than we realize. Your belief system began even before you took your first step or said your first word. You knew you could do it. You just had to try and learn. And, through the years, your beliefs have grown. As you have believed, you have achieved. Believing has been defined as “accepting as true.” Our response to that must be to act as if something is true. Make a habit of acting as if the best things about you are true.
4. Prepare for the best. If you want to be the best that you can be, you must prepare. Just hoping you will reach the top won’t cut it. Success requires sacrifice and preparation.
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